47 very important things I thought about while riding The Monster on the day of my birth
I am on a rollercoaster in Sweden. It’s my birthday. I am celebrating 47 years old on the front seat of The Monster, the main ride at Gröna Lund, a small amusement park in downtown Stockholm, Sweden. I can't think of a better place and time to reflect on my life and, being the king of ups and downs, share some advice with my fellow humans of all ages.
Here are 47 things you can do to be a winner — or less of a loser. Follow them at your own risk. Some are easy. Some are hard. A few are impossible.
Don’t be a jerk.
Don't be a pussy.
Be selfish.
Get your first kiss soon.
Stop playing video games after you turn 20.
Stay away from your dream girl.
Marry before 21.
Have two kids.
Divorce before 40.
Read.
Write.
Learn English, French, and Spanish.
Leave your country for good.
Avoid falling in love more than once.
Break up at the beginning of the crisis, not at the end.
Build as many bridges as you can.
Burn bridges.
Waste time on purpose.
Don't be fat.
Don't be ugly.
Don't be dumb.
Stay away from people who think they are better than you.
Be better than other people.
Watch Blade Runner. The original.
Watch American Beauty.
Eat well.
Treat people well.
Don't vote.
Never listen to rap music.
Don't wear Crocs, platform shoes, or Birkenstocks.
Find one good friend.
Don't watch TV.
Call your father once a week while you can.
Call your mother every day while you can.
Tell your kids that you love them, all the time.
Love animals, but don't have pets.
Flirt with your therapist. You will lose her. Still worth it.
Don't drink.
Laugh at yourself.
Don’t self-censor.
Don’t censor others.
Find someone who adores you.
Travel the world.
Talk to strangers.
Cry at the movies.
Don't cry at funerals.
Ride rollercoasters.
Rodrigo Bressane
Stockholm, Sweden
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